Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Alice’s Restaurant (1969) - Trailer

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

Peanuts Performing A Scene From Clerks (NSFW)

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

This Is Spinal Tap - Nigel’s Musical Trilogy (Part 1)

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

An Unlikely Quintuplet

Monday, June 23rd, 2008


It just occurred to me, looking at the list I’m going to talk about, that these are some extremely dissimilar movies. Reservation Road, Day of the Dead (remake), Rambo, The Incredible Hulk, and There Will Be Blood. No point to that, really, just strange. So, here we go…..  

Reservation Road


Mark Ruffalo and his son are driving home from a baseball game. He swerves to avoid hitting another vehicle and instead hits Joaquin Phoenix’ son. Phoenix is married to Jennifer Connelly, who cries a lot because she’s good at that kind of thing. Their daughter takes music lessons from Ruffalos’ baby mama and ex-wife (Mira Sorvino.) Phoenix and Connellys’ son dies, and no blame is placed because Ruffalo takes off after hitting the kid because he’s afraid of losing the small custody rights he has to his own son if he is convicted of any kind of wrongdoing. Phoenix goes to a lawfirm to ask for help in finding his sons’ killer. Ruffalo works at the law firm and is assigned the case. That paragraph sums up what I found wrong with this movie. Everything is just a little bit too contrived. Too many coincidences keep it from being able to be seen as a reflection of a real life situation. That being said, Ruffalo and Phoenix are especially good in their roles. No big surprise there, but it does make it worth seeing simply for the performances. If not for that, this could be laughably bad. I’m going to recommend this IF you are a fan of the talent involved. Otherwise , you may feel manipulated and cheated.  

Day of the Dead (remake)



Man, you owe me for this one. Based on the trailers I didn’t expect a good movie out of this. I hoped for something that would be funnily terrible. Please don’t make the same mistake because this is just plain awful. I’ll name just a few of things that went wrong here:

  •    One should never cast Mena Suvari in the role of a hardened military officer. 

  •  One should never allow Mena Suvari to try and deliver lines in a commanding and aggressive manner.

  • One should never cast Nick Cannon as a wise cracking spunky street kid who is not fazed by zombies.

  • One should not speed up the film to make the zombies look as if they have super human speed.

  • One should not try to hide the gore by having people be killed offscreen, in a ridiculous attempt to try and create a ‘shocking’ reveal of the zombies.

  • One should not change Bubs’ name to Bud.

  • One should not tarnish the name of Bub by making him such a lame character this time around.

  • One should not be allowed to remake, or make, any more movies. Ever.

Yeah, don’t watch this. Please.  



If you have not yet seen Rambo, all I can say is if you grew up on Schwarzenegger and Stallone and Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren and Seagal movies you need to see this. It’s a total throwback to 80’s and early 90’s action, with some modern extreme violence thrown in. There’s honestly not a lot you can say about a movie like this, except that I had a damn good time watching it.  

The Incredible Hulk




I’m loving what Marvel is doing with their movies now. I actually still haven’t watched Iron Man, but the word is good. They seem to be focused on creating a series of movies about different characters that all intersect and exist as part of their own universe, just like the comics. Beginning with Iron Man and now The Incredible Hulk through to Thor and Iron Man II in 2010, Captain America in 2011, and culminating in Avengers in 2012 it is looking to be a really cool and unique thing that has never been done before in movies. In theory, at least, it’s a great idea. How well it all turns out remains to be seen. Hulk is pretty great. I watched some of the 2001 version yesterday, thinking that Damien might like it because he really like the new one, and I can say that I much prefer the latter to the former. I don’t mean to discredit Ang Lees’ Hulk, it’s was a fine film and I did enjoy it, but it didn’t feel like a movie of the comic book. That is where this one succeeds and overshadows the past. Again, this isn’t the kind of film that can be discussed in great detail because it is more of a sensory experience than a thought provoking piece. I dig it, you probably will too.  

There Will Be Blood



There Will Be Blood, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought provoking piece. A character study of a self proclaimed “oilman” goddamn fantastically played by Daniel Day-Lewis, this is the reason films exist. Day-Lewis is widely considered to be the finest actor working today, yet he can still surprise as evidenced here. His Daniel Plainview is one of the most fully realized characters I think I have ever seen on screen. I don’t think I could ever get tired of listening to that fucker talk, which resulted in several instances of unintentional laughter. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, he’s just so outlandish and over the top that you can’t help but laugh at times. Paul Dano, too, kicks all kinds of holy ass here. As a young preacher at odds with Day-Lewis’ oil company, he definitely holds his own and in some respects overshadows ol’ Dan. I love the church scenes, damn, I love every fucking thing about this. Too many great things to mention. Just see it if you haven’t already and you’ll see what I mean. This is a classic.



This article catches me up on the movies I’ve seen recently, so from now on you should start seeing the less lengthy review articles. Up soon, I’ll have looks at Cleaner, King of California, Be Kind Rewind, and Semi-Pro and many many more.  


Airplane! - The Wrong Week To Quit

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

Kentucky Fried Movie: Zinc Oxide And You

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

A Whole New Batch Of Bizness

Sunday, June 15th, 2008


Hey everybody!!  Sorry for the irregularity of this column.  It is similar to my movie watching habits, being very sporadic.  It’s been a week or so since my last one and I have a new batch of reviews for your entertainment.  I’m gonna put the smack down on six movies today and I’m already two films into my next column.  

The Air I Breathe


I’m only going to be able to recommend half of this movie.  It plays out in four little vignettes, all loosely connected, that are bloated with so much self importance and message that it’s impossible for it to succeed.  The first, starring Forrest Whitaker as a man who fucks himself over in a gambling scheme who then decides to rob a bank, is pretty terrific.  The second, with Emile Hirsch as a wannabe gangster being shown the ropes by Brendan Frasers’ veteran hitman, is also pretty great.  Next, you have a boring and insipid tale of a pop star (Sarah Michelle Gellar) in debt to Andy Garcias’ mob boss.  Finally, an absolutely unbelievable and laughably pretentious bit with Gellar and Kevin Bacon.  I had high hopes at the beginning but by the end I pretty much hated this movie.  There’s a good cast and some good performances, but I’d only recommend it if you catch it on tv or something and can skip the last half.  Definitely don’t pay for it.



I’ve looked forward to Teeth for quite a while now.  A film based on the “vagina dentata” legend about a girl with teeth (dentata) in the vagina (vagina)-see, Latin is easy!  Based on that, you probably already know if you want to see this or not.  The obvious thing that you would expect to happen in a movie with that description does indeed happen.  It’s not that great a movie and in parts it does come off as kinda silly, but seriously, DUDES GET THEIR CHUBS BIT OFF BY A VICIOUS VAG.  What the hell else do you need to know?  Get it now.

Kung Fu Panda


Kung Fu Panda is really one of the best animated movies I’ve seen in a while.  Coming from Dreamworks I didn’t really expect much, since I’m not really a fan of the Shrek movies.  Most of their stuff comes off as over-caffeinated tripe littered with pop culture references that are only funny as long as the issue is prominent.  That is not the case here.  First off, this is a real authentic old school kung fu movie.  It’s also an old school inspirational ‘follow your dreams’ movie.  It’s also an old school ‘geek makes good’ movie with a spot on perfect vocal performance by Jack Black.  Plus, David Cross is in it.  I loved this.  It is a perfect kids’ movie, the kind that adults can enjoy equally but usually for completely different reasons.  Basically, like a Pixar movie.  I definitely recommend this one.

Grizzly Park


If you are familiar with the typical quality of direct to video (DTV) releases then you’ll be much more forgiving of this flick.  It is a creature feature in that there is a bear that attacks a group of people stationed in the woods.  The saving grace is that this is more a character based movie that a simple slasher type.  Albeit, the characters are acted badly and are very generic which is why I made the DTV comment earlier.  By “great movie” standards, of course it’s crap.  I don’t think anyone involved with the movie would disagree with you there, but judging on a DTV scale, it’s pretty damn good.  Beats the hell out of all that SciFi channel crap.  As far as plot, there’s not a lot to go into, so I won’t.  This is the kind of thing where you know already if it’s your cup of joe.



This is one of the most extreme and brutal films I have ever seen.  Plot, quickly, is a pregnant woman is giving birth the following day.  She is terrorized at home the night before by a woman who wants to cut the baby out of her and take is for herself.  This is a French movie originally titled A L’Interieur (as you can see by the poster), Inside is the English version name.  If you like horror and violent movies you will love this.  You will be pushed to your limits, but you will love it because it does not leave you with a feeling of “wow, that was so fuckin cool and hardcore.”  No, it’s more like, “I cannot believe how intense and disturbing that shit was.  That was a truly scary movie, the likes of which I have not seen in many a year.  Now, not only do I have to be scared of long black haired Asian women, I must fear long black haired French women with gaps in their teeth.”  All jokes aside, I pretty much didn’t know how to talk about this after watching it.  It’s one of those where if you know someone else whose seen it, you can mention it to them and say something about how crazy it is and they’ll simply nod, a bit wide eyed, and come back with something like a “yup” or “ohh, yeah.”  I haven’t had that experience yet, as I’m the only person I’ve spoken to whose seen it, but I can imagine.  I heard several years ago that Stephen King didn’t like Kubricks’ version of The Shining because he said he felt like Kubrick was trying to hurt people with the movie.  I always thought that was stupid and didn’t make sense, but I kinda get it now.

One more thing, do not rent this from Blockbuster, because their version has 7 minutes cut which I hear makes a big difference.  I believe it too, judging by some of the shit you see in this.  Make sure your cut is 83 minutes and not 75.  I downloaded mine, to make sure I had the right thing. 

Funny Games



I’m going to start this out with a direct quote from my better half, Mrs. Ree’ Kincheloe.  “You can’t really say it’s a good movie, because nothing good happens in it.”  (She dug the hell outta the movie, by the way)  Very, very true.  While this is a masterfully shot film, and incredibly effective, it just feels wrong to call it “good.”  Michael Haneke knows his craft.  He creates a very fun, playful mood for the film to take place.  Then bad shit happens.  More bad shit happens.  Most of the shit happens offscreen and you’re left to your imagination to fill in the blanks.  It’s all going fine and well and you’re watching comfortably like most horror movies, knowing that eventually it’ll all turn around because the good guys always win, right?  Or, at least, the villians are meant to be the ‘heroes’ in a darkly comedic way and you just laugh when the good guys lose.  Same here, the villains are funny, charming even though they’re disgustingly preppy rich kids who are harassing people out of boredom.  The victims seem like decent enough folks and you feel bad for them.  You’re definitely on their side in this movie since the baddies are such pricks.  Then, something happens.  You, the audience, are shot a look by one of the villains.  A smirk, that seemingly says, “Yeah, I know you’re enjoying this.  It’s funny, right?”  This happens a few times.  To me, this is to make you feel a kinship with these bastards instead of the victims.  As things get increasingly bad, and you find yourself no longer being able to enjoy their “Games”, your mind has been officially fucked.  Damned if it doesn’t work, too.  Definitely check this out, it’s well worth it and it will stick with you for days. 

So, dear faithful readers, I’d like a little feedback from you.  Do you prefer that I type out long multi-film reviews like this, or would you prefer only one or two at a time.  The difference is that in this format I won’t write as much, whereas with only one or two to a column I might go on for days on the same movie.   

Comment here or just shoot me an email at about this or any of my other blogs.   

See you later, kids!!!!! 


Friday the 13th: In 7 Minutes

Friday, June 13th, 2008

Stuntman Steve’s Super Sized Movie Roundup

Friday, June 6th, 2008


I feel a little strange labeling this as a DVD review column. A DVD review typically will include discussion of the extra features, specs, all that bullshit.  I will only talk about the movie.  By DVD review, I only mean that I am talking about a movie that is available on DVD.  Just so we’re clear.  Let’s start at the beginning with a movie that is not on DVD and is, in fact, still in theaters.



Friday, June 6th, 2008

RoboJewRoboJew takes on the Giant Nazi Woman Of The SS.


Rock-n-Roll Suicide

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

Don’t Rock yourself to death.

The Bear In The Woods

Friday, May 30th, 2008


    I’m assuming that most of the readership of this site are local to the area I live since we miscreants are all from the same general area.  This area being eastern Tennessee/southwest Virginia. I’ll get back to that, but first a quick backstory to this article.  There is a movie discussion website called that I read at least daily.  The creator of the site is named Nick Nunziata.  Mr. Nunziata is a co-producer on a newly to DVD movie called Grizzly Park. 


    I found out today that almost the entirety of this was filmed on location in Abingdon, VA which is about 30 minutes from where I live in Kingsport.  This is pretty cool to me simply because that kind of thing just doesn’t happen around here.  People don’t film movies here.  If you want to see it, don’t go to your local Blockbuster.  They aren’t carrying it in the stores.  Reviews I’ve read say that it’s not a great movie, but it is good enough and definitely worth seeing.  It’s not a terribly gory movie so if you like the more suspenseful type horror I’m pretty sure that’s what you’ll get.  Here’s the trailer:



Wednesday, May 28th, 2008


Hello boys and girls! 

            Just for you, I’m sharing the trailer for Choke, the movie based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel.  There’s no one I like to read more than ol’ Chuck, even if this is one of my least favorite of his.  I’d much rather see Lullaby, Invisible Monsters, Survivor or Rant made into a movie, but I’ll take what I can get right now. Just being honest, if I hadn’t read the book and knew where this was coming from, I probably wouldn’t be too interested based on this trailer.  It looks sorta lame to me and that’s saying a lot since it has fuckin’ Sam Rockwell, who can turn poop into popsicles with the right facial expression. Regardless, forget my opinion and watch this: 

Yea, yea, I know, it links to  Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, though. 



Barbarella - 1968

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

Homeless James Bond…Part 2

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Bond is at it again.  This time fighting an evil window washer named ‘Nickel’.Bond is at it again. This time fighting an evil window washer named ‘Nickel’.

Six String Samurai Trailer

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Surf Nazis Must Die

Monday, May 26th, 2008

Surf Nazis Must Die TrailerSurf Nazis Must Die Trailer

Rain-X Won’t Keep Your Cheeks Dry

Sunday, May 25th, 2008



            Romantic comedies get a bad rap.  Even more so, the male species gets a bad rap when it comes to romantic comedies. Granted, there are guys who refuse to watch anything that looks as if it is geared towards women or that seems to focus on that weak inferior emotion, love.  To all these fellas, I say, “BULLSHIT!”


I’m A Genius Too

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

A potrait of a disfunctional family, as portayed by The Beach Boys and their relationship with father/manager Murray Wilson.

The Hoff Is Back

Saturday, May 24th, 2008


I am I the midst of a movie drought. It has been almost two weeks since I have seen a single film. This happens sometimes, I’ll go through a burst and watch several all at once and follow it with a dry spell. I always tell myself while I’m on top of things that this isn’t going to happen anymore, that I will continue to obsessively eat up the celluloid. Yet it never fails.