Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Yakety Sax

Monday, January 5th, 2009

The Benny Hill Show-End Credits

The Shining Yakety Sax

Manualist playing Yakety Sax on his hands

Man Trapped in Elevator for 41 Hours Yakety Sax

4/20 Parachute Stoner Dash Yakety Sax

Watch A Man Age 17 Years In 2 Minutes

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

Watch a Man Age 17 Years in 2 Minutes - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Post-It Note Experiment

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

Post It Note ExperimentFrom the people that brought you the “Diet Coke and Mentos” experiments.

Samuel Beckett - Play

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

Play is a one-act play by Samuel Beckett. It was written between 1962 and 1963. This is a version directed by Anthony Minghella for Beckett on Film project.

Is This Your Card?

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

Street Magician’s trick goes terribly wrong…

These Arms Are Not Snakes

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

Rewind the reTard Logo

I’ve had somewhat of a long weekend, being that I left work early Saturday and had my normal off day on Sunday. I blasted through a few movies, so this’ll be a rather long article since I plan to cover four movies.

First up, I’m going to kickoff a new, possibly regular, feature that I’m gonna call Steves’ Geriatric Jukebox! Named so, cuz you know, I’m an old fuckin geezer. I assume in this feature I’ll pontificate for a minute or three on whatever new music I happen to be pimpin in my sweet ride. And no, I’m not going to be talking about These Arms Are Snakes. I don’t know why I titled the article with that name, to be honest.

Steves’ Geriatric Jukebox!

I’ll kick this off with a huge shout out to one of the best bands you may have never heard. I was personally shocked when I recently first heard this band because they have been around for over 20 years and are huge in the UK. I am referring, of course, to Sparks!! This is some of the most unique and catchy (not always easy to achieve at the same time) music I have ever heard. Here’s a sample from their 2006 album ‘Hello Young Lovers’

I personally own two albums that have been released since 2000 and three albums from the 70’s, and there is obviously a little difference in the sound but it is still pretty unmistably the same band. It’s really kinda amazing that they’ve kept up the level of quality that they have after making music for so long. The band is basically two brothers with a rotating cast of musicians. Here’s a taste of some 70’s Sparks

I actually discovered the band by reading a blog similar to the one I am writing now, so I thought it only appropriate to do the same to help spread the word. This may not be your cup o’tea, you may hate or love it. I personally adore the shit out of these guys’ tunes. I’ll leave it at that for today. Just for kicks:

***End Jukebox Transmission***

Now, on to the movies…..


I realize that you’ve probably seen this by now. I know that I’m a little late to the party on this one. I have to at least give it credit and recommend it just in case you’ve passed it by. See this movie. This is the kind of thing that makes film lovers love film. Every aspect is pretty much flawless, the acting is incredible (Casey Affleck especially), cinematography even because this is a damn good looking film.
The greatest trick being pulled here is that there’s no real suspense as to what is going to happen to the main characters. Hell, look at the title. You know that one character is going to be killed by another without knowing shit else about the story. Robert Ford, played by Affleck, grew up worshipping Jesse James (Brad Pitt.) When he reaches 20 years old he joins his gang and you’re treated to 2 hours and 40 minutes of respect and adoration slowly turned to jealousy and hate. All by some of the best actors out there (fuckin Sam Rockwell is in this, too) at the top of their game.

This is a character piece so it’s a hard one to write about, to be honest, unless I wanted to blabber on about modern vs classic westerns or how this differs from the other big western to be released last year (3:10 to Yuma)…but no, I don’t want to do that. So I’ll just say that it is well worth your time and money.


I’m on the fence for a big chunk of Stop-Loss. It starts out great with a group of Marines in Iraq enduring a battle situation as well as just hanging out killing time. I was thinking that this was going to be really something special. The soldiers are sent home after their duty is over, Ryan Phillippe is excited about being home. Then he is given orders that he is returning to Iraq, or he has been ‘stop-lossed.’ Basically, a draft only instead of picking civilians they draft soldiers whose combat duty has ended.
He attacks a couple of fellow soldiers, goes AWOL, and hits the road for Washington to take this up with some senator. Um, what? In the meantime, he is losing his grip and his temper a bit too easily. There are a few excellent scenes throughout of him and the other soldiers trying to come to grips with what they’ve had to do and what they’ve witnessed in the war. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, one of my favorite actors, is one example of a fully realized minor character that has more impact than the lead character. Channing Tatum, too, is pretty great.
If that’s all the movie was then it would really be great. I would have no problem with it. But the whole deal with Phillippe tracking down this senator while trying to maintain his sanity didn’t gel with me. If a real marine loses his grip I would expect a hell of a lot more delusion than he puts across. Kind of like his war buddies. They’re done well, it’s just the lead character and story that fell a little flat. Plus, the southern accents sound pretty phony on some of the actors.


Jesus, man. I mean, obviously this is going to be a shit movie. But, my question is the same one I have for the movie from a few months ago, Dead Silence. Why is it so hard to make a movie about a killer ventriloquist dummy and actually have the little fucker running around slicing people? If I rent a movie with a evil looking dummy on it, I want to see the bastard move. I want to see his little grubby hands performing the killing. I don’t want him to basically be controlling some other weak willed individual.
That said, this is…well, still pretty bad. Horrid acting. I mean, I don’t think they even fucking tried. There is some pretty funny stuff, here, though. I actually kinda enjoyed it, but you probably won’t. Just warning ya.


Aaron Eckhart, you are the fucking man! In Meet Bill he is a corporate whore who hates his job and pretty much every other aspect of his life. He busts his wife cheating with the local news celebrity while mentoring a high school delinquent while trying to open a franchise of the ‘Sweet Sweet’ donut shop.
There’s the basic plot. This is wicked funny, very smart writing, and there is a speech given by Eckharts’ character about how to get through life that is so true and poignant and hilarious that the film is worth watching for it alone. He is the star here. I think it’s pretty evident that he is getting ready to really blow up and I couldn’t be happier about that. I’ve dug his work for years and it’s about time that the rest of the world starts to realize.
This is the kind of indie comedy that tends to stick with you. Kinda like a Little Miss Sunshine sort of vibe. (Not that I think that Sunshine is even the best example of this type of movie, it’s just probably the most well known.) Oh, and to top it all off, Jessica Alba is in this movie and manages to not be terrible. Maybe after 10 movies (or whatever she’s done) she’s learned something about acting and is about to ascend to an acceptable level of mediocrity. Or maybe this is just too good for her to fuck up.
Bottom line- this is a definite recommendation.

Guess that’s enough for now. That was lots of typing, and plenty for you to read…so til next time kids……!


No Creature Double Feature

Thursday, July 31st, 2008

Spaced, the tv series by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (the team behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) was just released in the good ol UsofA this past Tuesday. The fucker is sold out everywhere, even It’s been available in other countries for years and people have been clamoring for it here for just as long, myself included, but it looks like I’ll have to wait a little while longer.

I have found that there was a 7-disc Toxic Avenger box set released by Troma in April. It includes all four movies, all 13 episodes of the Toxic Crusaders cartoon, Apocalypse Soon-a documentary about the making of the original Avenger, and loads of other junk. I believe I’ll put my funds down for that in the meantime. I haven’t seen any of those movies since the old USA Up All Night days so it’ll be interesting to say the least.


Enough about all that nonsense, let’s get to the movies!!!


The first thing I like about The Ruins is the opening scenes. The first 20 minutes or so you’d think came from one of those terrible looking National Lampoon’s direct to video turds that fill the shelves at the video stores. The shift in tone is so sudden and creates such a dynamic that it’s a little unsettling and definitely keeps you interested.

The plot, being rather thin, is a group of four twenty-somethings on vacation in Mexico hear of archaeological site in the jungle of a real Mayan temple. They go to check it out. Shit goes down. To tell more really would be doing the film a disservice, but if you’ve seen the trailer you know that it involves lethal plantlife and lots and lots of psychological trauma.


There is where the film succeeds. The cast is small and filled with very capable actors who play their parts flawlessly. This is, more than anything else, simply a survival film with sprinkles here and there of supernatural overtones. The killer vine is the reason that they are stuck on the temple, but it never foreshadows the characters or makes you forget the fact that these are very realistic people in a likely situation, that of being stuck in a foreign land and held prisoner with no probable chance of survival.


The Ruins doesn’t pull any punches with the gore, either. There’re only a couple of scenes that go this route but when it does it makes you feel it. This is a pretty damn good movie and well worth your time. I’ve read the book it’s based on so my perspective was a bit different going in than it would be for most people who probably haven’t read it. I’m not going to do a side by side book to film comparison but I will say that if you’ve read it you should give the movie shot too because there is enough that deviates from the original material to keep you interested and engaged in the film.



I’m going to have to tell you that you must see this one. A ’signal’ invades the airwaves of all electronic devices (phones, tvs, radio, etc…) and anyone who stares or listens to the signal is basically reprogrammed to give in to their most primal and violent urges. The film was put together by three directors and it is broken into three segments, or ‘Transmissions,’ with each one directed by a different person. All three transmissions tell one continuous story, or at least portions of the same story from different points of view, but you will notice a difference in tone with each one.


This is definitely a pretty violent horror flick, with a strong impact due to the fact that there is time spent letting you get to know the characters. It starts with the insanity pretty early on but the directors know what they’re doing so they make sure that you don’t feel like you’re watching a movie filled with throwaway characters.


The closest thing I can think to compare it to is 28 Days Later for the idea alone. That film was more or less a zombie movie, though, and this one feels nothing like any zombie movie I’ve seen. The main difference being that in a zombie film you obviously know based on appearance who are zombies and who isn’t. In The Signal you have no idea if someone is crazy until they show it by snapping and attacking everyone around them.


That theme is played with throughout, especially in the second segment, which has the largest tone shift from straight horror into a sort of dark comedy. You’re left constantly wondering if the people in the movie actually are not infected and only attack other people when they are threatened, or if they indeed are infected and the people they’re attacking are innocent victims.


That is what makes this so excellent. It is a smart, creative horror film that plays on the ideas of trust and paranoia that are supposedly an inherent part of our society today. I don’t buy into that bullshit, I just think of it as a solid piece of work, but if you live in constant fear of terrorists blowing up your Wal-Mart then you’ll be mortified after seeing this.


Very very fucking highly recommended, if you don’t see this, you are nuts.



Unnecessary Censorship

Friday, July 25th, 2008

From Jimmy Kimmel Live!

The Dark Knight

Sunday, July 20th, 2008


We saw The Dark Knight tonight.  I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it on this site before, but I am a huge comic book fan.  I read monthly comics as well as graphic novels.  It does irk me when people write off the medium as devoid of real meaning or importance.  Some of the most powerful stories I’ve read have been in the comic form.  Regular comic book stories do generally simply entertain, I’ll give the naysayers that.  It is rare to find a lot of meaning in most of them.  Graphic novels (basically an illustrated novel) tend to go deeper and have more intricate and detailed stories with highly realized characters and mature plots.  The Dark Knight is, obviously, based on the Batman comic book character.  It is based on a comic book character, but this is a graphic novel caliber story. 


First, I don’t want to be one of the buffoons that hype up a mediocre film simply because I have a personal stake in it and enjoyed it for reasons that an average watcher may not.  I know the difference in a film that plays to a niche market and one that has mass appeal.  That being said, this is a fucking fantastic film.     

I honestly can’t talk very much about the plot because I will not ruin anything in the film by giving it away.  Just know that you are in store for an excellently written tale about a man (hell, a whole city) pushed and pushed to the point of breaking by an absolutely homicidal maniac.  Heath Ledger as The Joker is stunning.  Fucking brilliant.  He is a sick, disgusting, vile creature without a trace of humanity.  The Joker is unlike any Joker ever on film before.  There is nothing cute or silly about him (though he does make you laugh quite a bit when he’s on screen) and the one thought that stuck in my mind while watching was that someone finally got this character right. 

A running theme in the comics regarding The Joker and Batman is that they are, while mortal enemies, very much alike and dependant on each other.  Without Batman, The Joker may as well quit because no adversary will ever compare.  Batman, with his no-kill policy, will always have the one villain in which he cannot instill fear, the one person who can get under his skin the way no one else can.  So throughout the years they battle over and over and create some really poetic and dynamic stories.  This film addresses this conflict, on more than one occasion, which pleased me to no end.  Ledger has created the definitive Joker and if there is another movie I really hope he has no part of it because I can’t imagine someone else coming even close to this genius.


The thing that worries me the most is that Aaron Eckhart not receive the recognition he deserves as Harvey Dent (or Two-Face.)  In a way, the entire film is more about his character than anyone elses.  It’s definitely a driving force.  You really believe in his campaign to end crime in Gotham City.  By the way, he’s my choice to play Captain America. 


Don’t let people tell you any of the secrets in this one.  Wait and see for yourself, even if you are waiting for the DVD.  You’ll thank me later. 

Now, a quick look at a handful of recent viewing:

  • The Orphanage-pretty damn good ghost story.  Worth a look

  • The Good Humor Man-Solid indie flick about kids growing up in the 70s with drugs and nothing else to do

  • The Spiderwick Chronicles-I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this is the best kids’ fantasy movie I’ve seen in recent years.  It’s kinda like Demon Knight for kids.  Seriously, watch this and think about the basic setup for both movies.  See, I’m right!

…and I guess that’s all from me for now.  I’m dead tired so I’m going to sleep now, and all you kids have a great night! 


Drillbit Taylor

Thursday, July 17th, 2008


First off, let me just put something out there.  Owen Wilson should be dead, and Heath Ledger should still be alive.  Can’t we get a trade off on that?  As far as celebrity suicides go, the dice definitely rolled unlucky on that one.  I like Wilson, I’ve always though he was funny, I’ve enjoyed most of his movies, and Drillbit Taylor is no exception.


DrillBit Taylor Poster


Owen Wilson plays pretty much the same type of character that he always does.  He doesn’t try and kill himself though.  He’s cool, funny and  makes you like him even though he’s playing the kind of douchebag that you would hate in real life.  So, yea, pretty much the same character as always.  Except Eli in The Royal Tenenbaums, I’d hang with that fucker forever.  Or any of the characters from Wes Andersons’ movies, really.  Ok, so not all his roles are pricks, but a lot are.  Likable pricks, though. 

We got three freshmen in high school who are severely ‘cool’-chellenged, get beat on every day by bullies, and look into hiring a personal bodyguard to fend them off.  One thing that surprised me about this was the amount of pain these kids are put through.  It’s a straight comedy, don’t get me wrong, but the bullying is pretty hardcore and violent at times and the fight towards the end of the movie goes pretty much all out as well.  Don’t go in expecting anybody beaten to a pulp or anything, it’s just a bit more than I expected. 


The three dorks are what make the movie great.  They are all relatively unknown actors who bring a true sense of their loserness to the roles, and I don’t necessarily mean that as an insult.  Everybody knew these kids in school and whether you want to admit it or not, a part of you was these kids.  They’re hilarious and definitely the heart of the movie. 


This is produced by Judd Apatow, and it is his weakest movie after The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad, but still worth a viewing. 



Disneyland Opens July 17, 1955

Thursday, July 17th, 2008


Monday, July 14th, 2008


Eventually it had to happen.  With the rise of the “torture porn” genre over the last couple years, someone was bound to send it up in some sort of parody, or farce.  I wouldn’t call Otis a parody, it’s more of a torture film with sprinkles of very very dark comedy.  


Bostin Christopher plays the title character, an overweight loser pizza delivery guy with a penchant for kidnapping teenage girls, chaining them in a soundproof room in his attic, and forcing them to act out a high school prom that he obviously never had..  The plot concerns his current victim, Riley Lawson (or ‘Kim’ as he forces all his victims to call themselves.  The reason for this is a little too funny and disturbing to spoil.)  Riley escapes Otis (not really a spoiler) about halfway through the movie and he results of this action…..well, you’ve just got to watch.

This is a really low budget, independent flick (my favorite kind) that really is more entertaining than most better known pictures of its kind.  I personally dug the hell out of this and urge anyone with any interest to definitely check it out.  There is a pretty awesome classic rock soundtrack that enhances the film while seeming wildly inappropriate at the same time. 


I don’t really want to give too much away, so I’m going to stop here and just tell you to see this one for sure.  You won’t regret it. 



Monday, July 14th, 2008

Rewind the reTard Logo


Joy Division is a band I have always ignored.  Not intentionally, simply because I was never exposed to their music and never took the time to seek it out.  I knew them as the band whose singer killed himself just as they were beginning to reach the height of their popularity.  The story of the singer, Ian Curtis, and the bands short lived career has recently been brought to the screen in two incarnations: a documentary called Joy Division and a biographical film called Control.  I’ve yet to see the documentary, Control I have seen. 


I’m usually not really a fan of music bio films.  Take Walk the Line as a recent example.  Everybody seems to love this one, but to me it fell flat simply because it tried to pack too much time into a small package and things happened so fast that I found myself unable to really connect with any of the characters at any given time.  Walk Hard was much better, and a hell of a lot funnier.  That is a typical feeling I’m left with, although those films do usually have terrific acting performances.


Control is an exception.  I mark this one along with The Doors, Almost Famous (not a real band, but come on…this movie fucking rules), and The Man Who Fell to Earth (David Bowie plays an alien masquerading as a human.  You trying to tell me this isn’t based on fact?) as music biopic films that get it right, that show the humanity and charisma of the character while also showing that he is a flawed human being that makes really fucked up mistakes and decisions. 


Sam Riley, an actor I’ve never heard of, plays Curtis.  Samantha Morton plays his wife, and plays her brilliantly.  This is a woman who, while her husband is off on tour constantly, stays at home with their kids (whom he’s barely met) constantly remaining hopeful that someday he’s going to come stay home.  She is also under the impression that he’s someday going to stop seeing his girlfriend, Annik (Alexandra Maria Lara.)  You could say she’s naive, but played by Morton she comes across as undeniably strong and able woman.  You know that the reason she does what she does is because she loves Ian so deeply that she will not discontinue supporting him in spite of his fuck-ups and betrayals, simply because she is the kind of woman who doesn’t turn her back on difficult situations and will stand by someone if she truly believes in him/her. 

I don’t want to give away anything more (it’s a biopic, people, what can I really ‘give away?:)   This is a damn fine film and I encourage you to watch it.  If you’re like me, you will discover a great film and a great band all at the same time. 

I want to make an honorable mention of a unique animated film called Persepolis, as well.   


I watched a pretty big chunk of this movie and fell asleep, three different times.  I don’t have anything negative to say about it, though.  The animaton style is refreshing while being very old fashioned and the storyline is pretty fresh as well.  It tells the story of a young girl in, I believe, Israel during a political uprising.  I’m personally not really interested in the story being told, so it couldn’t hold my attention.  I do think it should be seen though. 

Thanks, Steve

An Unlikely Quintuplet

Monday, June 23rd, 2008


It just occurred to me, looking at the list I’m going to talk about, that these are some extremely dissimilar movies. Reservation Road, Day of the Dead (remake), Rambo, The Incredible Hulk, and There Will Be Blood. No point to that, really, just strange. So, here we go…..  

Reservation Road


Mark Ruffalo and his son are driving home from a baseball game. He swerves to avoid hitting another vehicle and instead hits Joaquin Phoenix’ son. Phoenix is married to Jennifer Connelly, who cries a lot because she’s good at that kind of thing. Their daughter takes music lessons from Ruffalos’ baby mama and ex-wife (Mira Sorvino.) Phoenix and Connellys’ son dies, and no blame is placed because Ruffalo takes off after hitting the kid because he’s afraid of losing the small custody rights he has to his own son if he is convicted of any kind of wrongdoing. Phoenix goes to a lawfirm to ask for help in finding his sons’ killer. Ruffalo works at the law firm and is assigned the case. That paragraph sums up what I found wrong with this movie. Everything is just a little bit too contrived. Too many coincidences keep it from being able to be seen as a reflection of a real life situation. That being said, Ruffalo and Phoenix are especially good in their roles. No big surprise there, but it does make it worth seeing simply for the performances. If not for that, this could be laughably bad. I’m going to recommend this IF you are a fan of the talent involved. Otherwise , you may feel manipulated and cheated.  

Day of the Dead (remake)



Man, you owe me for this one. Based on the trailers I didn’t expect a good movie out of this. I hoped for something that would be funnily terrible. Please don’t make the same mistake because this is just plain awful. I’ll name just a few of things that went wrong here:

  •    One should never cast Mena Suvari in the role of a hardened military officer. 

  •  One should never allow Mena Suvari to try and deliver lines in a commanding and aggressive manner.

  • One should never cast Nick Cannon as a wise cracking spunky street kid who is not fazed by zombies.

  • One should not speed up the film to make the zombies look as if they have super human speed.

  • One should not try to hide the gore by having people be killed offscreen, in a ridiculous attempt to try and create a ‘shocking’ reveal of the zombies.

  • One should not change Bubs’ name to Bud.

  • One should not tarnish the name of Bub by making him such a lame character this time around.

  • One should not be allowed to remake, or make, any more movies. Ever.

Yeah, don’t watch this. Please.  



If you have not yet seen Rambo, all I can say is if you grew up on Schwarzenegger and Stallone and Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren and Seagal movies you need to see this. It’s a total throwback to 80’s and early 90’s action, with some modern extreme violence thrown in. There’s honestly not a lot you can say about a movie like this, except that I had a damn good time watching it.  

The Incredible Hulk




I’m loving what Marvel is doing with their movies now. I actually still haven’t watched Iron Man, but the word is good. They seem to be focused on creating a series of movies about different characters that all intersect and exist as part of their own universe, just like the comics. Beginning with Iron Man and now The Incredible Hulk through to Thor and Iron Man II in 2010, Captain America in 2011, and culminating in Avengers in 2012 it is looking to be a really cool and unique thing that has never been done before in movies. In theory, at least, it’s a great idea. How well it all turns out remains to be seen. Hulk is pretty great. I watched some of the 2001 version yesterday, thinking that Damien might like it because he really like the new one, and I can say that I much prefer the latter to the former. I don’t mean to discredit Ang Lees’ Hulk, it’s was a fine film and I did enjoy it, but it didn’t feel like a movie of the comic book. That is where this one succeeds and overshadows the past. Again, this isn’t the kind of film that can be discussed in great detail because it is more of a sensory experience than a thought provoking piece. I dig it, you probably will too.  

There Will Be Blood



There Will Be Blood, on the other hand, is nothing but a thought provoking piece. A character study of a self proclaimed “oilman” goddamn fantastically played by Daniel Day-Lewis, this is the reason films exist. Day-Lewis is widely considered to be the finest actor working today, yet he can still surprise as evidenced here. His Daniel Plainview is one of the most fully realized characters I think I have ever seen on screen. I don’t think I could ever get tired of listening to that fucker talk, which resulted in several instances of unintentional laughter. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, he’s just so outlandish and over the top that you can’t help but laugh at times. Paul Dano, too, kicks all kinds of holy ass here. As a young preacher at odds with Day-Lewis’ oil company, he definitely holds his own and in some respects overshadows ol’ Dan. I love the church scenes, damn, I love every fucking thing about this. Too many great things to mention. Just see it if you haven’t already and you’ll see what I mean. This is a classic.



This article catches me up on the movies I’ve seen recently, so from now on you should start seeing the less lengthy review articles. Up soon, I’ll have looks at Cleaner, King of California, Be Kind Rewind, and Semi-Pro and many many more.  


Contact Juggling

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

A Whole New Batch Of Bizness

Sunday, June 15th, 2008


Hey everybody!!  Sorry for the irregularity of this column.  It is similar to my movie watching habits, being very sporadic.  It’s been a week or so since my last one and I have a new batch of reviews for your entertainment.  I’m gonna put the smack down on six movies today and I’m already two films into my next column.  

The Air I Breathe


I’m only going to be able to recommend half of this movie.  It plays out in four little vignettes, all loosely connected, that are bloated with so much self importance and message that it’s impossible for it to succeed.  The first, starring Forrest Whitaker as a man who fucks himself over in a gambling scheme who then decides to rob a bank, is pretty terrific.  The second, with Emile Hirsch as a wannabe gangster being shown the ropes by Brendan Frasers’ veteran hitman, is also pretty great.  Next, you have a boring and insipid tale of a pop star (Sarah Michelle Gellar) in debt to Andy Garcias’ mob boss.  Finally, an absolutely unbelievable and laughably pretentious bit with Gellar and Kevin Bacon.  I had high hopes at the beginning but by the end I pretty much hated this movie.  There’s a good cast and some good performances, but I’d only recommend it if you catch it on tv or something and can skip the last half.  Definitely don’t pay for it.



I’ve looked forward to Teeth for quite a while now.  A film based on the “vagina dentata” legend about a girl with teeth (dentata) in the vagina (vagina)-see, Latin is easy!  Based on that, you probably already know if you want to see this or not.  The obvious thing that you would expect to happen in a movie with that description does indeed happen.  It’s not that great a movie and in parts it does come off as kinda silly, but seriously, DUDES GET THEIR CHUBS BIT OFF BY A VICIOUS VAG.  What the hell else do you need to know?  Get it now.

Kung Fu Panda


Kung Fu Panda is really one of the best animated movies I’ve seen in a while.  Coming from Dreamworks I didn’t really expect much, since I’m not really a fan of the Shrek movies.  Most of their stuff comes off as over-caffeinated tripe littered with pop culture references that are only funny as long as the issue is prominent.  That is not the case here.  First off, this is a real authentic old school kung fu movie.  It’s also an old school inspirational ‘follow your dreams’ movie.  It’s also an old school ‘geek makes good’ movie with a spot on perfect vocal performance by Jack Black.  Plus, David Cross is in it.  I loved this.  It is a perfect kids’ movie, the kind that adults can enjoy equally but usually for completely different reasons.  Basically, like a Pixar movie.  I definitely recommend this one.

Grizzly Park


If you are familiar with the typical quality of direct to video (DTV) releases then you’ll be much more forgiving of this flick.  It is a creature feature in that there is a bear that attacks a group of people stationed in the woods.  The saving grace is that this is more a character based movie that a simple slasher type.  Albeit, the characters are acted badly and are very generic which is why I made the DTV comment earlier.  By “great movie” standards, of course it’s crap.  I don’t think anyone involved with the movie would disagree with you there, but judging on a DTV scale, it’s pretty damn good.  Beats the hell out of all that SciFi channel crap.  As far as plot, there’s not a lot to go into, so I won’t.  This is the kind of thing where you know already if it’s your cup of joe.



This is one of the most extreme and brutal films I have ever seen.  Plot, quickly, is a pregnant woman is giving birth the following day.  She is terrorized at home the night before by a woman who wants to cut the baby out of her and take is for herself.  This is a French movie originally titled A L’Interieur (as you can see by the poster), Inside is the English version name.  If you like horror and violent movies you will love this.  You will be pushed to your limits, but you will love it because it does not leave you with a feeling of “wow, that was so fuckin cool and hardcore.”  No, it’s more like, “I cannot believe how intense and disturbing that shit was.  That was a truly scary movie, the likes of which I have not seen in many a year.  Now, not only do I have to be scared of long black haired Asian women, I must fear long black haired French women with gaps in their teeth.”  All jokes aside, I pretty much didn’t know how to talk about this after watching it.  It’s one of those where if you know someone else whose seen it, you can mention it to them and say something about how crazy it is and they’ll simply nod, a bit wide eyed, and come back with something like a “yup” or “ohh, yeah.”  I haven’t had that experience yet, as I’m the only person I’ve spoken to whose seen it, but I can imagine.  I heard several years ago that Stephen King didn’t like Kubricks’ version of The Shining because he said he felt like Kubrick was trying to hurt people with the movie.  I always thought that was stupid and didn’t make sense, but I kinda get it now.

One more thing, do not rent this from Blockbuster, because their version has 7 minutes cut which I hear makes a big difference.  I believe it too, judging by some of the shit you see in this.  Make sure your cut is 83 minutes and not 75.  I downloaded mine, to make sure I had the right thing. 

Funny Games



I’m going to start this out with a direct quote from my better half, Mrs. Ree’ Kincheloe.  “You can’t really say it’s a good movie, because nothing good happens in it.”  (She dug the hell outta the movie, by the way)  Very, very true.  While this is a masterfully shot film, and incredibly effective, it just feels wrong to call it “good.”  Michael Haneke knows his craft.  He creates a very fun, playful mood for the film to take place.  Then bad shit happens.  More bad shit happens.  Most of the shit happens offscreen and you’re left to your imagination to fill in the blanks.  It’s all going fine and well and you’re watching comfortably like most horror movies, knowing that eventually it’ll all turn around because the good guys always win, right?  Or, at least, the villians are meant to be the ‘heroes’ in a darkly comedic way and you just laugh when the good guys lose.  Same here, the villains are funny, charming even though they’re disgustingly preppy rich kids who are harassing people out of boredom.  The victims seem like decent enough folks and you feel bad for them.  You’re definitely on their side in this movie since the baddies are such pricks.  Then, something happens.  You, the audience, are shot a look by one of the villains.  A smirk, that seemingly says, “Yeah, I know you’re enjoying this.  It’s funny, right?”  This happens a few times.  To me, this is to make you feel a kinship with these bastards instead of the victims.  As things get increasingly bad, and you find yourself no longer being able to enjoy their “Games”, your mind has been officially fucked.  Damned if it doesn’t work, too.  Definitely check this out, it’s well worth it and it will stick with you for days. 

So, dear faithful readers, I’d like a little feedback from you.  Do you prefer that I type out long multi-film reviews like this, or would you prefer only one or two at a time.  The difference is that in this format I won’t write as much, whereas with only one or two to a column I might go on for days on the same movie.   

Comment here or just shoot me an email at about this or any of my other blogs.   

See you later, kids!!!!! 


Stuntman Steve’s Super Sized Movie Roundup

Friday, June 6th, 2008


I feel a little strange labeling this as a DVD review column. A DVD review typically will include discussion of the extra features, specs, all that bullshit.  I will only talk about the movie.  By DVD review, I only mean that I am talking about a movie that is available on DVD.  Just so we’re clear.  Let’s start at the beginning with a movie that is not on DVD and is, in fact, still in theaters.


No Country For Gay Men

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008

Call it, girlfriendo!

No Country For Gay Men from Lawrence Scaduto on Vimeo.

The Bear In The Woods

Friday, May 30th, 2008


    I’m assuming that most of the readership of this site are local to the area I live since we miscreants are all from the same general area.  This area being eastern Tennessee/southwest Virginia. I’ll get back to that, but first a quick backstory to this article.  There is a movie discussion website called that I read at least daily.  The creator of the site is named Nick Nunziata.  Mr. Nunziata is a co-producer on a newly to DVD movie called Grizzly Park. 


    I found out today that almost the entirety of this was filmed on location in Abingdon, VA which is about 30 minutes from where I live in Kingsport.  This is pretty cool to me simply because that kind of thing just doesn’t happen around here.  People don’t film movies here.  If you want to see it, don’t go to your local Blockbuster.  They aren’t carrying it in the stores.  Reviews I’ve read say that it’s not a great movie, but it is good enough and definitely worth seeing.  It’s not a terribly gory movie so if you like the more suspenseful type horror I’m pretty sure that’s what you’ll get.  Here’s the trailer:


I’m A Genius Too

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

A potrait of a disfunctional family, as portayed by The Beach Boys and their relationship with father/manager Murray Wilson.